I'm back from Sin City, but here's a couple more videos I didn't get a chance to upload while I was there (Monte Carlo's interwebz suck!)
First up, the Grand Tour of our Vegas HQ at the Monte Carlo
And a bit of RAGE towards Spirit Airlines, they suck ass, never use them!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Vegas thus Far
So the AEE was pretty lame. Don't get me wrong, it was cool to see big shots in the industry, but the lack of access to the Trade Show was infuriating. Also lame was the fact that the SHOT Show, which is a gun industry trade show, was going on this week, but I didn't find out about it until late Thursday...too late to try and call in any favors to any of my connections in the shooting world to try and get access. The sights in Vegas are amazing though. Just wandering the strip and going in the various resorts is pretty cool. The Venetian has been my favorite by far. The architecture made me feel like I was back in Italy, which was pretty cool.
Food wise, Vegas has been killer. We had dinner Thursday night at Morel in The Palazzo. I had a fantastic Filet Mignon topped with Foie Gras. The steak was cooked perfectly rare, and the Foie Gras was the perfect complement to the leanness of the steak. The appetizer of raw oysters I had was also fantastic, the oysters were nice and plump, with no grit at all and a clean, oceanic flavor. The Pommes Frites we had along with the meal were cooked just right and the accompanying Truffle Mayo was out of this world. Our hotel, The Monte Carlo, also has a food court with a McDonald's and Subway, both open 24 hours, so late night munchies are always available.
The Burning Angel Party last night at Sapphire was entertaining, but being that this is Vegas, Bottle Service is king and we didn't see a point in paying minimum 300 dollars for a bottle of booze that only one person was going to drink (since I don't drink anymore) so we basically had to stand around for an hour and a half. But the atmosphere was cool, and it was just an experience to be in a place that massive, puts every other Gentleman's Club I've ever been to to shame....but The Clubhouse in Dallas is still my favorite. Tonight we're gonna be keeping it low key, and we're just planning on heading over to Aria to have dinner at the Todd English Pub. This has been a nice albeit expensive vacation....but I'm getting a bit ready to head back home to my girlfriend and my Xbox 360. Oh well...just Sunday and Monday to go!
Food wise, Vegas has been killer. We had dinner Thursday night at Morel in The Palazzo. I had a fantastic Filet Mignon topped with Foie Gras. The steak was cooked perfectly rare, and the Foie Gras was the perfect complement to the leanness of the steak. The appetizer of raw oysters I had was also fantastic, the oysters were nice and plump, with no grit at all and a clean, oceanic flavor. The Pommes Frites we had along with the meal were cooked just right and the accompanying Truffle Mayo was out of this world. Our hotel, The Monte Carlo, also has a food court with a McDonald's and Subway, both open 24 hours, so late night munchies are always available.
The Burning Angel Party last night at Sapphire was entertaining, but being that this is Vegas, Bottle Service is king and we didn't see a point in paying minimum 300 dollars for a bottle of booze that only one person was going to drink (since I don't drink anymore) so we basically had to stand around for an hour and a half. But the atmosphere was cool, and it was just an experience to be in a place that massive, puts every other Gentleman's Club I've ever been to to shame....but The Clubhouse in Dallas is still my favorite. Tonight we're gonna be keeping it low key, and we're just planning on heading over to Aria to have dinner at the Todd English Pub. This has been a nice albeit expensive vacation....but I'm getting a bit ready to head back home to my girlfriend and my Xbox 360. Oh well...just Sunday and Monday to go!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Adult Entertainment Expo Rage
So if you ever want to check out the AEE that goes on at the same time as the AVN Awards....don't. Well, if you can manage to forge Press Credentials or Industry ID it would totally be worth it, but going on a "Fan" ticket is a pretty weak experience. We paid to basically walk around and look at chicks.....thats it. We weren't able to go into the Trade Show or the Adult Novelty show. I was pretty pissed about the lack of access to the Novelty show. I mean, I'm in Vegas at the AEE, surrounded by Pornstars, but I can't buy can't browse all the latest advancements in dildo technology? Thats some major league bullshit right there. We basically were confined to a couple smaller exhibit places where all we could purchase was pr0nz on DVD and get pictures and autographs from actresses and we paid $100 for that....and only that. Granted it was extremely cool getting to meet Joanna Angel, but what if I was in the market for some next level Fleshlight Shit, or even a Real Doll? Nope, sorry, none of those for you! It was also pretty funny getting a couple autographs made out to Meatywand:
Tonight is the Burning Angel Party at Sapphire, so hopefully that will be pretty sweet! I sure hope so...
Tonight is the Burning Angel Party at Sapphire, so hopefully that will be pretty sweet! I sure hope so...
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Day 2: Vegas
Last night we hit up the Wicked Films AVN kick off party at Gallery....interesting to say the least. Pretty sweet club...but I honestly dislike clubs so it got boring quick. Wandering Vegas at 1-2 AM was kinda cool though. This morning is off to a good start, coffee has been consumed and plans laid to head to the Wynn to check out Italian Automobiles....good stuff...then probably another AVN party tonight if there is anything appealing going on. Video updates are possible through out the day so stay tuned.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Woooooo Shooting!
Got the chance to fire off some full auto sub machine guns today, a Thompson and an MP5...pretty bad ass...
Vegas Day 1...ish
Just hopped out of the shower, ready to do this. Today is going to be an experimental day of sorts, I'm trying to sort out video and mobile posting on this here blogger thingy....so yeah things may get sporadic or strange, also...tonight is AEE Party night number one, trying to decide between the Vivid Party and the Wicked Party...not sure which one to hit up yet....
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Yeah I know I've been a little Slow on Posting...
But thats mainly because I've been getting geared up to head to Las Vegas today. For the next 7 days I'll be in Vegas, doing absolutely nothing and loving it. Also, the AEE Convention is this week in Vegas, and myself and my GingerRicer buddy have VIP passes to the shows on Friday, as well as passes for the after parties all week...so stay tuned...this shit could get real at any moment! I'll also probably throw up a couple more Shitter Guy Chronicles whilst doing glorious nothing in Vegas all week.
Monday, January 9, 2012
My other Buddy who we'll refer to as NOPE.
In an effort to protect the anonymity of my friends, I'm giving them all aliases that somehow correspond to some ridiculous thing they/we did or said. I've decided to refer to my best friend, and the only person I still talk to from "the old days" as NOPE and this short story is how he got that name:
The downtown area of our neighboring city is an interesting mix of nightlife options. There are casinos, clubs, bars and music venues. While this may not seem very interesting to an outsider, what is unique about the downtown area is that the bars all stay open until 6 am, insuring that if one wishes to get severely hammered...they have ample time to do it. So one night my buddy and I are out making our way from bar to bar and I finally hit my wall. At this point in time I had a fairly largely alcohol tolerance, but my friend had a higher one. So in the most logical of decisions, since I was bordering on unconsciousness, I gave him the keys to my vehicle.
Its important to note that my vehicle is a soft top Jeep Wrangler. Anyone that knows anything about Jeeps knows soft top windows are not cheap, and as such, the doors to my Jeep were never locked, because I would rather a thief open the door and realize there is nothing to steal rather than cut the windows only to realize there is nothing to steal.
So at this point in the night, I'm verging on passing out, and we decide its time to go home so we stagger to my Jeep. My buddy wisely (or not) takes position behind the wheel and I manage to get myself into the passenger seat and buckled in without falling out. As I was getting ready to take a nap the always unlocked passenger door was rudely yanked open. A pair of men in ordinary street clothes stood there and quickly flashed what may or may not have been Police Badges, and asked "You boys been drinking tonight?" to which my buddy replied.
"NOPE!"
And mashed the accelerator, leaving them standing there bewildered and the passenger door of the vehicle flapping until I realized what was going on and shut it. NOPE has become a phrase deeply ingrained in our vocabulary now, and I feel a fitting alias for the stories where this friend makes an appearance.
The downtown area of our neighboring city is an interesting mix of nightlife options. There are casinos, clubs, bars and music venues. While this may not seem very interesting to an outsider, what is unique about the downtown area is that the bars all stay open until 6 am, insuring that if one wishes to get severely hammered...they have ample time to do it. So one night my buddy and I are out making our way from bar to bar and I finally hit my wall. At this point in time I had a fairly largely alcohol tolerance, but my friend had a higher one. So in the most logical of decisions, since I was bordering on unconsciousness, I gave him the keys to my vehicle.
Its important to note that my vehicle is a soft top Jeep Wrangler. Anyone that knows anything about Jeeps knows soft top windows are not cheap, and as such, the doors to my Jeep were never locked, because I would rather a thief open the door and realize there is nothing to steal rather than cut the windows only to realize there is nothing to steal.
So at this point in the night, I'm verging on passing out, and we decide its time to go home so we stagger to my Jeep. My buddy wisely (or not) takes position behind the wheel and I manage to get myself into the passenger seat and buckled in without falling out. As I was getting ready to take a nap the always unlocked passenger door was rudely yanked open. A pair of men in ordinary street clothes stood there and quickly flashed what may or may not have been Police Badges, and asked "You boys been drinking tonight?" to which my buddy replied.
"NOPE!"
And mashed the accelerator, leaving them standing there bewildered and the passenger door of the vehicle flapping until I realized what was going on and shut it. NOPE has become a phrase deeply ingrained in our vocabulary now, and I feel a fitting alias for the stories where this friend makes an appearance.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Just a Quick Note
I no longer drink or do drugs, or (usually) behave in the manner being described in The Shitter Guy Chronicles....but the stories are funny, and worth sharing. Most of these stories took place when I was 19-25 years old...
The Shitter Guy Chronicles: Wat Iz Diss
My early adventures with The Shitter Guy, while funny, pale in comparison to the events that occurred about mid-way through our time together. When I was 22 I ended a 6 year relationship and The Shitter Guy swiftly took me under his wing and we started partying....hard. Eventually all this foolishness would catch up with me, and I would abandon this reckless lifestyle....but at the time we did it, and did it big. This is a story of one of the earliest events when I learned that hanging out with The Shitter Guy would lead to some next level shit. This story came to be know as the Wat Iz Diss incident:
There is a club/bar locally that I'll just call The Stomping Donkey. This place was a drunken Redneck wonderland, with an inexplicable mix of country music downstairs with older people Two Stepping and a Ghetto Environment upstairs blaring ignorant rap music and filled with ignorant behavior. We of course hung out upstairs. We also drank heavily and with quite a bit of disregard for the consequences.
One night I met up with The Shitter Guy at a bar near this establishment to get our pre-party on. I think this was the first night that he showed me his brand new Benchmade Pocket Knife, which would figure heavily in our later adventures. We proceeded to fortify ourselves for the night ahead with copious amounts of Wild Turkey 101 and Hot Damn. When the magic 11 o'clock hour hit, The Shitter Guy made his inevitable announcement that it was time to head to The Stomping Donkey, and of course I had no objections.
We arrived at The Stomping Donkey and proceeded to indulge in shots of Jager and more Whiskey. Approaches to various females of dubious morals were made, and in my case, totally rejected. So at one point I wandered out of the Ghetto-Fest upper bar area over to the balcony area overlooking the main dance floor for a smoke. I lit up and enjoyed my cigarette, and decided in my drunken haze that spitting over the balcony was the best idea at the time.
Almost immediately after launching an impressive glob of mucus over the balcony I was confronted by a very Angry Mexican Gentleman and his short, bald side kick. This dude was very unhappy about the large glob of mucus that was currently chilling on his shoulder. And led to the following conversation:
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS (pointing to the spit)
Me: Shit I don't know...
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS! YOU KNOW
Me: I dunno dude, looks like your buddy got too excited and made a mess on your shirt.
At this point Angry Mexican was all up in my face, and then started jabbering and pointing his finger in my face, I guess he was threatening to kick my ass in very garbled Spanish. Then OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, The Shitter Guy arrives to save the day!
The Shitter Guy: You got a fucking problem with my boy [Meaty]?
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS (again pointing at the spit)
The Shitter Guy: I don't give a fuck what that is!
Angry Mexican: HE KNOW WAT DISS IZ! (pointing at me)
The Shitter Guy: What is that? (asking me)
Me: Fuck I dunno, I think his little bald buddy jizzed on his shoulder.
At this point Angry Mexican becomes PISSED MEXICAN and again jumped into my face.....and at this point, The Shitter Guy took it to the next level.
The Shitter Guy: YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM? YOU WANNA GO? I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH RIGHT HERE! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! (at this point, the Benchmade its first appearance)
PISSED MEXICAN: NO, YOU PAY FOR DISS (pointing at the spit)
The Shitter Guy: NO, YOU NEED TO FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH YOUR LITTLE FUCK BUDDY BEFORE I CUT YOU.
At this point I've backed totally away from the confrontation, The Shitter Guy is screaming, veins are bulging in his neck, and spit is flying out of his mouth, and the Benchmade is waving ominously in his hand. Oh and its worth mentioning that The Shitter Guy is about 5'6 150-160 pounds and PISSED MEXICAN was at least 6' 180, maybe 200 pounds.
While the two of them are screaming at each other another buddy of ours who played College Football and was an enormous dude wandered up. He calmly walked up and asked if there was a problem, The Shitter Guy replied, "YEAH THERES A FUCKING PROBLEM" and then our giant friend began screaming at PISSED MEXICAN, who suddenly decided that this whole situation could be resolved with a napkin and ran to the bar to get one. Leaving us standing there bewildered.
That night probably should have been a warning, or an omen....but I was young and dumb and I thought (and still kinda do) that it was hilarious and awesome. We spent the rest of that night drinking more and constantly screaming "WAT IZ DISS" in the bar. We never saw PISSED MEXICAN again.
There is a club/bar locally that I'll just call The Stomping Donkey. This place was a drunken Redneck wonderland, with an inexplicable mix of country music downstairs with older people Two Stepping and a Ghetto Environment upstairs blaring ignorant rap music and filled with ignorant behavior. We of course hung out upstairs. We also drank heavily and with quite a bit of disregard for the consequences.
One night I met up with The Shitter Guy at a bar near this establishment to get our pre-party on. I think this was the first night that he showed me his brand new Benchmade Pocket Knife, which would figure heavily in our later adventures. We proceeded to fortify ourselves for the night ahead with copious amounts of Wild Turkey 101 and Hot Damn. When the magic 11 o'clock hour hit, The Shitter Guy made his inevitable announcement that it was time to head to The Stomping Donkey, and of course I had no objections.
We arrived at The Stomping Donkey and proceeded to indulge in shots of Jager and more Whiskey. Approaches to various females of dubious morals were made, and in my case, totally rejected. So at one point I wandered out of the Ghetto-Fest upper bar area over to the balcony area overlooking the main dance floor for a smoke. I lit up and enjoyed my cigarette, and decided in my drunken haze that spitting over the balcony was the best idea at the time.
Almost immediately after launching an impressive glob of mucus over the balcony I was confronted by a very Angry Mexican Gentleman and his short, bald side kick. This dude was very unhappy about the large glob of mucus that was currently chilling on his shoulder. And led to the following conversation:
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS (pointing to the spit)
Me: Shit I don't know...
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS! YOU KNOW
Me: I dunno dude, looks like your buddy got too excited and made a mess on your shirt.
At this point Angry Mexican was all up in my face, and then started jabbering and pointing his finger in my face, I guess he was threatening to kick my ass in very garbled Spanish. Then OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, The Shitter Guy arrives to save the day!
The Shitter Guy: You got a fucking problem with my boy [Meaty]?
Angry Mexican: WAT IZ DISS (again pointing at the spit)
The Shitter Guy: I don't give a fuck what that is!
Angry Mexican: HE KNOW WAT DISS IZ! (pointing at me)
The Shitter Guy: What is that? (asking me)
Me: Fuck I dunno, I think his little bald buddy jizzed on his shoulder.
At this point Angry Mexican becomes PISSED MEXICAN and again jumped into my face.....and at this point, The Shitter Guy took it to the next level.
The Shitter Guy: YOU GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM? YOU WANNA GO? I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH RIGHT HERE! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! (at this point, the Benchmade its first appearance)
PISSED MEXICAN: NO, YOU PAY FOR DISS (pointing at the spit)
The Shitter Guy: NO, YOU NEED TO FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH YOUR LITTLE FUCK BUDDY BEFORE I CUT YOU.
At this point I've backed totally away from the confrontation, The Shitter Guy is screaming, veins are bulging in his neck, and spit is flying out of his mouth, and the Benchmade is waving ominously in his hand. Oh and its worth mentioning that The Shitter Guy is about 5'6 150-160 pounds and PISSED MEXICAN was at least 6' 180, maybe 200 pounds.
While the two of them are screaming at each other another buddy of ours who played College Football and was an enormous dude wandered up. He calmly walked up and asked if there was a problem, The Shitter Guy replied, "YEAH THERES A FUCKING PROBLEM" and then our giant friend began screaming at PISSED MEXICAN, who suddenly decided that this whole situation could be resolved with a napkin and ran to the bar to get one. Leaving us standing there bewildered.
That night probably should have been a warning, or an omen....but I was young and dumb and I thought (and still kinda do) that it was hilarious and awesome. We spent the rest of that night drinking more and constantly screaming "WAT IZ DISS" in the bar. We never saw PISSED MEXICAN again.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Prologue to the Shitter Guy Chronicles
So, several years ago I worked at a local quick lube place where I met a guy that was going to play a pretty large part in my adventures over several years. To protect the privacy of the people involved, we will refer to this person as The Shitter Guy or TSG for short. He was a good friend of mine for quite a while and hanging out with him resulted in some great stories. He came to be called The Shitter Guy after he got a job working for a porta potty company and gave us a speech on how amazing his shitters were.
As he was quoting a business I worked for on the price of renting his shit houses, he launched into a discussion of his magical blue liquid he used. He declared that "This shit is like acid man, it will dissolve any thing you throw in it, shit, piss, toilet paper....I'm telling you man, this stuff is amazing, it destroys the shit and keeps them shitters fresh!" So from that day forward, he was known amongst our small circle of friends as The Shitter Guy. In the coming days I'm gonna start posting the stories of our misadventures. But I figured a little background might come in handy.
As he was quoting a business I worked for on the price of renting his shit houses, he launched into a discussion of his magical blue liquid he used. He declared that "This shit is like acid man, it will dissolve any thing you throw in it, shit, piss, toilet paper....I'm telling you man, this stuff is amazing, it destroys the shit and keeps them shitters fresh!" So from that day forward, he was known amongst our small circle of friends as The Shitter Guy. In the coming days I'm gonna start posting the stories of our misadventures. But I figured a little background might come in handy.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Welp...Here we go!
I'm not sure how to write an entertaining or informative blog, I'm just doing this to amuse myself and to kill time. I guess I'll just use this to chronicle all the bizarre adventures I get myself involved in. There will probably be some ranting and raving....and some hatin' on various things. But I'm tired right now so whatever, more will come later when I'm in the mood to write more. I'm sure my upcoming trip to Vegas will provide plenty of entertainment for the masses.
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